A visit with Baby Shirley's mom in the mens prison

Earlier this week three of us went to visit Baby Shirley's mother in prison. I will call her "T" for this post.   Baby Shirley is the child who was dumped in a pit latrine as a newborn and then had hot coals dumped in on top of her to make sure she would die. She did not.  You can read her story at http://janinemaxwell.blogspot.tw/2014/10/do-we-have-to-say-no-to-more-babies.html.

T was in the Mawelawela Woman's prison for two years and was then moved to a Men's prison 1.5 years ago where there is one room for 10 women within the prison. This is like a “holding” room for women ready to go to trial because the prison is closer to the courts than the Woman’s prison.  For 18-months she has been waiting for her case to get to get called.

A few months ago she started calling me every week to say hello, ask how Shirley was doing and generally have some contact with the outside world.  She asked repeatedly for me to visit, and I finally did.  I feel such empathy for this young woman because not only is she living with the guilt of trying to kill her own child, AND she has a severely disabled child (her second born, born with Cerebral Palsy) in prison with her. The child, whom she calls Rebecca, is now 5.5-years-old, can’t sit, walk, speak or communicate in any way, but she is living in the men’s prison with her mother and nine other women. Her firstborn child died from malnutrition. 

We arrived at the prison and were told to take off our jewelry and watches and to leave our cell phones and all other things in the car. We went in with only our ID cards and a note from the front guard saying that we could visit for ten minutes. We went through the big steel doors, with no windows and were greeted by a social worker and a guard who took us to a private office to meet with T. They were very kind and empathetic, and I think wondered who might be these first visitors for this sad inmate.

T was so happy to see us and she sat with Rebecca on her lap and asked us how Shirley was doing and told us how much she missed her baby. I struggled with that a bit since she was the very person who was responsible for the permanent scaring on Shirley’s face and her not having a big toe on one foot or an index finger on one hand.

We asked when she thought she would go to trial and she had no idea. It was a waiting game. My friend Janice asked her if she had a lawyer or if the court would appoint one?  They all shook their heads, no. The court only appoints a lawyer if it’s a serious crime. 

Wait, what?

This young girl is charged with attempted murder, and that’s not a serious crime?

Nope, if she had actually committed the murder, she would have a lawyer.

We asked if there was a time she might have been given bail, rather than keeping her in prison for so long with a disabled child.  T told us that when she first went to prison Baby Shirley’s biological father's family gave E3000 ($300 US) to T’s sister so that she could be bailed out of jail (3.5 years ago).  The sister spent the money on herself, and T stayed in prison.

The family is broken and her parents are so angry at her. She knows that when she is released from prison that she will return to a home filled with conflict, anger and shame. What will she do for food? It’s very hard to find a job and she is the only who can manage and care for Rebecca, who is growing every day. She is afraid and she is hopeless.

Where does T find hope?  I reminded her that God’s plans are not our plans and that maybe He has them both in prison as a place of safety? Seems strange to say, but she is provided with food, shelter and a clean place to sleep.  But that's easy for me to say when I get to walk back out through the gates and get in my car to drive home.

I am conflicted because I feel such empathy for the young woman, but then I am responsible for the child who was hurt, and whose heart and mind are still healing.  T is desperate to come and visit Shirley when she gets out, but I don’t know how that will work or what will be said. I am thankful to have our wonderful social worker, Margie Brewer, here to help us navigate that when the time comes.

A photo of T and Baby Shirley the day we first met in prison.

Some days are easier than others here.  Some days I can solve other people's problems, but that day was not one of them.

Live from Swaziland … going to play with Shirley today.

Janine

Inmate gives birth in prison then strangles her baby - not making this stuff up

Yesterday Thabile and I had an appointment in Mankayane and left the farm early to make the 90-minute journey.  On our way we saw a newspaper headline which read, “Inmate gives birth, attempts to kill her baby”.  I pointed at it and asked Thabile if she had seen that and she said yes, and she had heard it on the news the night before.  I was shocked by the headline, but drove on.  When we finished our meeting, we stopped and bought a newspaper then headed home. “Coincidentally” the woman’s prison was right on our way, meaning we LITERALLY had to drive past it to get back, and I felt prompted to stop by the prison and ask how the baby was doing. 

We have a very good relationship with the leadership at the prison so I sent a text message and put in a call.  We also contacted Social Welfare and the police to make sure it was okay with all the stakeholders that we check on the baby.  They all said, “YES!  Stop in and we will meet you there.”  So we did.

We checked in at the front gate and walked down to the highly secured building and waited to be called by the head of the prison.  After a short time we were escorted up to her office and walked past a sad looking woman holding a baby.  We knew instantly who she was.

After greetings were made and formalities complete the girl was asked to come in and sit on the floor. I took the baby from her and started to unwrap all the blankets to see what lay beneath.  When I finally got to the baby I saw a plump (3.6 KG or 7.9 LB) baby girl with lots of hair. She was/is beautiful.  I looked to the mother and asked her what happened.  Here is what we learned.

The mother is 27-years old and has a 14-month old child. She is very poor and the father of the child has gone off leaving her with no support.  She stole R800 ($80 US) from an old Grandmother and was arrested.  She was charged with theft and given the choice of paying a R1,000 ($100 US) fine or go to prison for one year.  She had no money so had to choose the prison sentence. She and her 14-month old child went to prison on October 26^th.   On October 28^th she started treatment for HIV (although we learned that she had known before her first child was born that she was positive, but didn’t want to start treatment).

She did not mention to anyone at the prison that she was pregnant, and for some reason, no one noticed.

Early on the morning of November 7^th the mother had stomach pains and diarrhea and stayed behind in her room at breakfast time.  She claims that she didn’t know she was pregnant (her story changed a lot over several hours), but suddenly a baby came out. She knew she was not allowed to have two babies in prison and the father of the new baby didn’t even know she was pregnant so she decided to kill the child.  

She didn’t have anything sharp to cut the umbilical cord so she torn it off with her bare hands, leaving the placenta deep inside her.  She put her hands around the baby’s tiny throat and squeezed to stop her from breathing, leaving deep fingernail marks on the baby’s tender skin.  Once the baby stopped breathing, the mother put her in the bottom of a trash bin and then piled garbage on top of her hoping that when the trash was emptied the baby would be done and no one would know. 

The mother started to bleed profusely and another inmate came to check on her and found the pool of blood. They screamed for help and a nurse and several officers came running.  The nurse immediately thought that the woman had tried to abort a child, but the mother said it was not true. Slowly the bleeding mother walked over to the trash bin and started pulling the garbage off the baby.  She reached down and pulled the newborn out by her foot.  The baby was grey by this time. 

The nurse and the officers were shocked and immediately went in to action. I am told that the nurse started CPR immediately and the officers around stood and prayed out loud. I can only imagine what the sound of their cries was like.  After a time, the baby took a deep breath and her heart started to beat again.  (No doubt the angel that was protecting her also took a deep breath too!)  The nurse brought this newborn back to life and then they rushed the baby and mother off to the hospital.  The mother was hemorrhaging badly and was in and out of consciousness.  The doctors were able to remove the placenta and the mother stabilized quickly.  By the next morning, the day we were there, both mother and child had returned to the prison.

So there we sat. We listened to her story as it was slowly and painfully pulled out of her.  She seemed totally detached from the baby and from what was happening around her.  I couldn’t begin to put myself in her shoes. She had just delivered a 7.9 LB baby (BIG) by herself, killed her child, almost bled to death and 24-hours later is sitting on the floor talking to us.  Surreal.

Thabile and I took turns holding the precious baby and praying over her, but she started to cry and wanted to eat.  The prison officials suggested that the mother nurse the baby, but because the mother is HIV positive we wanted to discourage that in case the child was going to come to El Roi where she would continue with bottle-feeding.  We didn’t want to chance passing HIV to the baby through breast milk if this was going to be a “one time” feeding (the mother did breast feed during the night and the baby has been put on Nivirapine as a HIV prevention method – we will have her tested in six weeks).  But we had nothing else to give her.  The nurse scoured to find a bottle and formula and finally found both, but could not find a nipple for the bottle.  The baby started to cry more.

I think this is my favorite part of the whole story.

I always carry a diaper bag in my car complete with bottles, formula, diapers, wipes and clothes. I just never know when I am going to get a call to pick up a baby.  But this time, I was in Ian’s car because mine was in the shop so my usually “prepared” items were not in the back.  As the baby’s cries got louder and started to think. I said to Thabile, “You know, if we had known that we were picking up a baby today we would have packed a diaper bag right?”

She said, “Yes, we would have, but we didn’t know”.

I said, “Right, but obviously Jesus knew that we were going to pick up a baby. I wonder if He packed a bag?  We know that He cares about the small details. I wonder if there is something in the back of Ian’s car?”

I handed the keys to Thabile and asked her to go check.  That is not an easy thing to do because we were inside the prison walls and she would have to get escorted back out through security, take the long walk to the main road, pass that security and go to my car parked on the highway.  She didn't want to go because it was a long way, and a hassle, but she was obedient and took the keys.  (I love that girl!). Twenty minutes later she walked back in the tiny room where we were sitting and had a FULL diaper bag with her complete with bottles, formula, diapers, wipes and clothes!  Jesus packed a bag and it was in the back of Ian’s car.  I later discovered that Ian had put it there two weeks prior when he thought it was needed for a trip to get Baby Isaiah, but Isaiah was not ready for pick up at that time, so it stayed in the car.  I love my husband!

At that time we were all overwhelmed by God’s provision for this little baby.  Not only did He bring her back to life, and then He had us right near the prison to drop in an check on the baby, He also made sure that we had all the supplies we needed for this little angel.  And that is what we have named her.  Angel.

After four hours at the prison we were asked to take the baby to the El Roi Baby Home. The mother will be charged with attempted murder and her time in prison will be extended.  I don’t know whether to feel pity for her or anger.  I guess I feel both.

We have received four newborn babies in the past week.  We welcome Mary, Isaiah, Glory and now Angel.  We thank all of the people who give to Heart for Africa on a monthly basis because without you, we could not continue to say “yes” when a baby needs a home.  We pray that funding will come in for these four soon.

Thanks for reading and praying.

Live from Swaziland … we have 45 babies living at Project Canaan.

PS - Now, for a bit of shameless self-promotion, my 50^th birthday on November 19^th and my friends at Heart for Africa asked me what I wanted for my birthday, then they put a “wish list” on the website. All of my birthday wishes are for the babies at Project Canaan or the women at the Kibbutz.  Feel free to buy a goat or a chicken or contribute to the next children’s home on Project Canaan to help me celebrate!

In the US: Click here

In Canada :  Click here

Thanks friends.

After six years an unbelievable reunion!

I want to let you know that this blog is long and complicated, but it is such a very cool story to show how BIG God is that I promise you it is worth the read.   

I clearly remember the day that I first read (or my heart read) Matthew 25:34-36 which says,  “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.  For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.”

I panicked. I had done a few of those things, but I had NEVER visited someone in prison.  (As I have matured in my faith I realize that even visiting an old woman who is trapped in her mud hut with 10 orphan children to feed is “in prison”, she just doesn’t have any bars around her).  But I don’t want to confuse this important story.

In 2006 I called our Country Director in Swaziland (Shirley Ward) and asked her if she could arrange for me to go to a prison in Swaziland to visit.  Why? Because Matthew 25 says that is what I am to do and I need to do it.  Shirley is an amazing woman and gift to us and quickly made arrangements for us (and Penny Ballew) to visit the Mawelawela Women’s Correctional Institution.  I was more than shocked and impressed by the conditions that these women lived in. There rooms were neat and tidy (and colorful), the care they received appeared to be excellent and I wondered if this facility wasn’t better than the living conditions that many would have outside the institutions walls.

But what really threw me for a loop was that there were babies there!  IN PRISON!  If a mother had a child younger than three years old the child would go to prison with the mother.  I struggled with this and took a photo of a young mother with her baby so that I could show this to my friends and family back in Canada.  I now know that taking photos in a prison is not allowed, but for some reason that day I was permitted to take a few photos.  We handed out blankets made by women back in Ontario, Canada (thank you Malee Edwards and team) and gave each woman a bible.

That was in 2006, six years ago. 

On Tuesday Ian and I were in South Africa taking a day off to celebrate our 21^st wedding anniversary.  I decided it was a good time to start organizing some of the 22,000+ photos that I have on my laptop (since 2003) and “stumbled” upon the photos of my visit to the women’s prison in 2006. I have not looked at those photos since that time.

And guess whose photo I saw (the one you are seeing in this blog)?  It is the VERY woman who has the 5-month old baby we are trying to save THIS VERY WEEK, October 2012!!!!!  The child she is holding in the photo is now seven years old and we have since learned that she has been in and out of jail since 2006, for stealing food for her children over and over. (I am intentionally leaving the mother unnamed).

When I saw the photo I couldn’t believe my eyes.  She looked so much younger, her face was fuller and she looked content. Now she is six years older, sick and has eight children.  In August 2012 just before she went to prison she begged us to go and check on her other children.  This photo shows what we found when we arrived.  Six children living alone, including the seven year old who was a baby when I first met them.  Now she is in prison for three years.  What will become of the 5-month old who is in prison with her or the others who are left alone?  Only God knows.

We are working/praying diligently to try to get the little baby out of prison at the repeating request of the mother. She doesn’t want the baby to die of malnutrition in prison and the baby is sick.  On Thursday I made another trip back to the prison, this time to bring baby formula (that needed special permission because no outside food is allowed to be brought in).  When the mother and baby were brought in to the room where we were to meet I had the photo of her from 2006 ready to show her. 

Imagine that.  She was sitting on the floor with her sick baby and looked up and the photo as I held it out for her to see.  She looked from the photo to me and back to the photo again.  Then she looked at me and said, “That is me.” 

I said, “That was you in 2006” and she nodded in agreement.  She then told me that the baby was now seven years old and she got very sad.  After a moment she looked up at me and said, “We have known each other for six years, but we just didn’t know it until now.”

WOW!

And then guess what happened?  The two senior prison officials looked at her and said, “God is a very BIG God. This just shows you how much He loves you and your children doesn’t it?” 

And guess what else?  The mother is now back on her ARV’s (AIDS medication), which she had been refusing for quite some time.  She had “dropped out” of the program, which guarantees to speed up her death, but she started up on them again this week.  Another miracle

{pause for a moment of  thanksgiving}

We will continue to advocate for this baby, and the mother.  But the good news for today is that they both know that Jesus loves them.  The baby has healthy formula that may save his life and the mother has medication for HIV/AIDS, which can surely save her life.  If the baby comes to us, great. If not, we know that it is in His perfect plan that the baby stays in prison.

What a mighty God we serve.  He cares about the little details and He cares about each and every one of us.  He does not have favorites.

At the end of the story in Matthew we are left with these words, “Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink,  I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’  “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’  “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’  “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.” Matthew 25:41-46)

Live from Swaziland … we are giving thanks.

Janine