September 11th – 15 years ago

Fifteen years ago on September 11^th, 2001 the world changed forever and so did my life.  Most of you likely know that I was in NYC on that fateful day, Ian was on a flight to Chicago, Spencer and Chloe were at school in Canada… and the planes crashed into the twin towers.

Time stood still while everything changed.

Fifteen years ago the focus of my life was the success of my marketing company, my family and my happiness.  Yes, I believed in Jesus, but he certainly wasn’t the focus of my life. I guess you could say he was on my Top 10 list?

Fifteen years later I can safely say first and foremost that I am a follower of Jesus.  Ian and I are living in Swaziland, while Spencer is finishing University in the US and Chloe is in second year University in Canada.  We are the legal guardians of 138 Swazi children under the age of 6-years, with a new baby arriving on an average of every seven days this year. 

Fifteen years later I have put on weight, see more grey hair every month and am not quite as fit as I used to be, but I sleep very well at night, I no longer suffer from stress headaches and I am okay looking in the mirror. 

Fifteen years ago today I was out clubbing in New York City with my clients from Kellogg’s Canada.  We were bar hopping in The Village enjoying the nightlife, not knowing that the world would change in the morning.  Tonight I will sit on the patio of my house looking out over our 2,500 acre farm in the tiny Kingdom of Swaziland, Africa, knowing that tomorrow morning I will hear the voices of 86 children between the ages of 3-years-old and 5.5-years-old singing songs of joy, of hope, of love and of peace. 

A lot can happen in fifteen years, and I am a living, breathing testament to what can happen when fear, pain, selfishness and greed are turned to joy, hope, love and peace. 

This has been a long hard journey, but I wouldn't change a single step of it.  I have tears (again) pouring down my cheeks as I type this because today fifteen years ago seems like yesterday.  When I hear people on the news talk about 911 it is still as raw to me as it was fifteen years ago.  But then I look up and see where I am, and my peace is restored.

Thank you for allowing me to share so much of my journey with you over these past few years and thank you for your love and support.   Jesus always restores my joy when I have dark day and he brings me hope when things seem hopeless.  Of all the lessons I have learned, I am most thankful for the knowledge that He is always with me.  Always.

Live from Swaziland … remembering 911.

Janine

September 11th - 10 years later. His ways are not our ways.

Tonight I am siting in a hotel room in Canada after visiting my 80 year old mother in the nursing home or "hell hole" as she prefers to call it.  I had to break the news to mom today that her only daughter (that would be me, Janine), mother of her only two grandchildren (that would be Spencer and Chloe), who moved her family (with her husband Ian) to Alpharetta, Georgia (that would be in the country of the United States of America - out of Canada) was now planning to move to another foreign country (that would be Swaziland) ON A DIFFERENT CONTINENT (and you know where that would be).

Why are we moving?  Because "God asked us to".  When did we start caring about what God wanted?  Shortly after September 11th, 2001... ten years ago this weekend.

It is hard to believe that on night of September 10th, 2001 I was out at a club in the Village in downtown Manhattan with a couple of clients who have never gone clubbing in downtown Manhattan (no, my kids do not read my blog :).  Nothing bad (never did drugs), but loved a good live band and a cool bar scene.  Got in really late (or early on the 11th), had to be a conference by 9AM the next day.  Slept for a short time.  Ordered room service (likely a $25 breakfast) without a thought.  Showered, headed down to the meeting room and then, the world changed forever.

It's now ten years later and certainly a time for reflection.  This year, on September 10th, 2011 I will spend the evening speaking to 300 youth in Effingham, Illinois.  Many of them are followers of Jesus, and (I assume) and many aren't, but all of them were toddlers when the planes crashed from the sky and people jumped from buildings in front of my eyes.  On September 11th I will be speaking at Christ's Church of Effingham to talk about what God has done in my life and how He is using ordinary, everyday people for His glory in Africa - who would have guessed that one ten years ago!?  Not me (or anyone who knew me).

I find it odd that when I think of that fateful day, my mind immediately goes to what I was doing RIGHT before the attacks began.  I was just living my life the way I liked living my life. I was just doing what I liked to do.  Period.  And why not?  I wasn't a bad person.

Ten years later I can't help but see how September 11th changed the trajectory of my life and the lives of my entire family. In approximately 245 days my husband will be working on sustainable farming and economic development on a rural farm in the Kingdom of Swaziland. My son will be heading off to college in America while his family moves to a foreign continent.  My daughter will be enrolled in an international school, in Africa, with students from 180 nations.  And I will become the mother to many... to orphans and widows in distress... to those who need a word of encouragement or a hug (or a kick in the butt).  And my mother?  She will be left in the "hell hole" to keep the staff on their toes and to remind me daily that God loves her as much as He loves the children we will serve in Swaziland and that HE has her in HIS hands, and that I am not to worry (or feel guilty).  NONE of this would have happened if not for the tragic day, ten years ago.

Everything changed on 9/11 and many are still reeling and recovering from the repercussions of that day.  I changed on 9/11 and for that I am thankful.  In the past ten years I have learned that God does not waste anything.  He has taken my life and flipped it upside down.  Would I have embraced this "flip" if I had known about it on September 10th 2001?  NOT a chance.  Now, I wouldn't change it for everything.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord.  Isaiah 55:8


Thank you Lord for loving us so much that you will allow tragedy and pain for your glory.  Thank you for pursuing me when I was running (or just ignoring) you.  Thank you for loving my mom so much that you have created a safe and healthy place to live so that I can be obedient to your call.  Thank you for a family who said, "yes Lord, here I am".

May all honor and glory go to you and you alone.

Amen.

PS - He makes beautiful things out of dust:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oyPBtExE4W0