Spencer and Jane got engaged!!

Jane and Spencer in Swaziland in 2008

How’s that for a headline?? 

Last Saturday we had the privilege of congratulating Spencer and Jane on their engagement, and we got to do with 200+ of their little brothers and sisters here in Eswatini.

It all started on a Heart for Africa service trip in 2008 when Jane and her family decided to come on a 11-day volunteer trip to Swaziland.  I remember their family well because they lost ALL of their luggage, except for the dental supplies that Dr. Jay Balasz (Jane’s dad) needed to practice dentistry up at the El Shaddai children’s home.  Their luggage didn’t arrive until the day they left, so their whole family borrowed clothes from other people and there was not a single complaint heard from any of them, not even teenagers Jane and her brother Sam.  I have recently learned that since that trip the family only travel with carry-on luggage!

No one could have imagined that 12 years later we would be living in Africa, and that a "chance" meeting through a volunteer trip to Swaziland would end in marriage. God's plans are SO much better than ours!

Painting a roof together in 2008

Spencer and Jane remained friends, and with the invent of social media they were able to stay in touch over the years.  Spencer’s education/life journey took him from Canada to the US, back up to Canada and then on to Spain to complete double Master Degrees (International Business and Marketing Management). 

Team photo - were you on that team??

Through his travels and long distances their relationship grew and it became clear to everyone that they were in love. Jane came to Swaziland for Christmas a couple of years ago and we got to know, and enjoy this beautiful young woman.

At Christmas 2019 Spencer told us that Jane was the one for him and he wanted to propose to her in June. We had a family trip planned to Cape Town to celebrate Chloe’s graduation and Spencer invited Jane to join us, with plans to propose at the Spier vineyard the day after we arrived. He even spoke to Jane’s parents secretly and invited them to fly in to Cape Town and surprise Jane after the proposal was complete.  We were all very excited about the plan and looked forward to a grand celebration!

Then COVID-19 hit, and plans had to change. Last Saturday Spencer invited Jane to his apartment in downtown Chicago and popped the question.  He had arranged to have the Balasz’s, Chloe and us on a ZOOM call to share their big news (even though we were all aware of the plan), but it was a wonderful surprise for Jane.  

Ian and I had a surprise of our own!  We joined the zoom call from the children’s campus and after we congratulated the happy couple, we asked if they would like to tell the kids?  They said yes, and so we turned the computer screen around for them to see 200+ children gathered to hear the big news!  Following Spencer’s announcement, the children performed a dance to the song “HAPPY” from the “Despicable Me” movie and then Rose and Gabriel presented them with a congratulatory banner and Christine and Shalom presented Jane with flowers from Khutsala, virtually, but they are being shipped to her in Chicago!  Below is a very short post (due to Blogger restrictions), but you can see the whole seven minute performance on my Facebook page from this past Monday.

Jane is finishing her Master degree in Clinical Psychology and starts her year-long practicum in June.  What an interesting time this is for that particular area of specialty, with children traumatized from the effects of COVID-19, social distancing and school closures.  The Lord certainly chose the right person for that role and we know Jane will thrive in this field.  Spencer is working in a consulting position in Chicago and will start his “real” consulting job with EY Advisory in Chicago in July.

We are so very happy for this young couple and thrilled to join the Balasz and Maxwell families together.   May the Lord bless their time of engagement and preparation and give them a life time of love and happiness.

Next Sunday is Mother’s day and our church service will be LIVE on the Heart for Africa Facebook page at 9:00 AM  EST.  Please invite your mother to join you for church on line, and join us in celebrating all the women who serve as Mothers/Aunties/Gogo’s to our 261 children. Don't forget to shop at www.khutsala.com for a beautiful Mother's Day gift that also supports our children.  We have MANY new bright and colorful new products!

Live from Eswatini … this mother’s heart is full!

Janine

A 12-year-old mother, on Mothers Day

I have the privilege of spending Mothers day weekend with my children, Spencer and Chloe in Atlanta, GA. This is the first time in six years that we get to do that, and I am enjoying every minute. Our time together includes pedicures, delicious meals, a movie and lots of talking.

I asked Chloe what I should write my blog about today, and without missing a beat, she said, “ Why don’t you write about the 12-year-old moms that you know”. 

Wow.  Okay, that’s a good idea, let me give that a try.

MANY of our babies come to us because their mothers are very young teenage girls who have been violently raped and found themselves pregnant. There is a tremendous amount of shame and sometimes they want to commit suicide and even end the life of their unborn child.  It is in those situations that I am called to help counsel them.

I have looked deep into the eyes of MANY young 12, 13, 14 and 15-year-old girls who have been brought to me by the police or Social Welfare and I can see their pain and their shame.  As some of you know, my birthmother was also 15-years-old when she gave birth to me in 1963 and she too brought great shame on her family. In fact, she was sent away to a home for unwed mothers so that no one in her community or family would know that she was pregnant with me. After she gave birth, I was adopted by Bernice and Russell Willis, and she went back home with her secret buried deep in her heart.  (See more details in my blog:  http://janinemaxwell.blogspot.com/2012/05/my-birth-mother-was-15-years-old-when-i.html).

What I am able to say to these young teenage moms is that God has a plan for their lives and a plan for their baby’s life.  I am living proof that God doesn’t waste anything and that while an unwanted pregnancy, at any age, can be traumatic, it is ONLY GOD who can make a baby, and each child has a purpose.

We don’t often have family members visit our children, but just today we had a young teenager come to see her little boy whom we have named “Russell”, after my adoptive father. The girl just wanted to see if the baby (whom she hasn’t seen in four years) was okay.  She is now in Grade 7 in school, and lives with her Great Grandmother.  Russell has a bright future ahead of him and the young girl was able to see that her request for us to take her child was the right one.

Last night we had a wonderful evening with dear friends at the home of Dr. David and Becky Fern.   It was great to be able to share from the depths of my heart, all that is happening in Swaziland – the good, the bad and the ugly.  At the end of the evening our friend David Mears pulled me aside and told me that while he was proud of all that we have done and accomplished, we should be most proud of Chloe and Spencer and the adults that they have become.  David, I couldn’t agree more, and thank you for saying that. 

Thank you Kim and David Mears for your friendship.

Happy Mothers Day to the young mothers and the old.  Motherhood is not easy, but it is such an important job.  May I encourage you all to be strong and courageous as you parent the treasure that God has given you.

Thank you Spencer and Chloe for being amazing children and such wonderful role models to your 189 young brothers and sisters.

Live from Atlanta … I am a very proud mom.

Janine

 PS - I just had to add a couple of crazy hair photos from our kids in Swaziland to make you smile.

Deborah looks like Cindy-loo-hoo.

Both of these beauties came to us from young teenage moms.

When you fail as a mother

I clearly remember coming home from the hospital after Spencer was born and feeling completely inexperienced, untrained and totally ill-prepared. With a touch of postpartum depression I imagined the Police arriving with Child Protection Services to our front door to take him away because I had absolutely no qualifications to take care of a newborn baby.  I remember kneeling on the floor, leaning on a chair and sobbing.

Today I have two beautiful children (Spencer 21 and Chloe 19) and they survived and thrived despite their mother’s lack of qualifications, and I am so very proud of the young adults that they have become.

Now I have 117 other children whom I (Ian and I) are legally responsible for and while I feel much more prepared than I did when Spencer arrived, there are so many complicated levels to raising, educating, loving and protecting children.

Last week we had a huge scare at the new Emseni building, and one that made me feel like a total failure as a mother and protector.  We had an electrical fire. 

“Coincidentally” (or because the God is God) I just happened to be in the building, with my friend Pete Wilkerson, when the power went off, the sparks started and fire started to pour down from the ceiling as the plastic light ballast melted.  Within ONE minute the flames were big and hitting the carpet below.  Pete and Allen were able to put the fire out by jumping off the counter top and flicking it with sheets and a teddy bear (not ideal, we know), while I helped the caregivers get all of the children out of the building to safety.

I lost years off my life that day and (more) gray hair suddenly appeared.  Why had that fluke fire happened? How was it possible that Pete and I were in the building for only 90 seconds and in 60 of those seconds a fire had started?  What if we had not been there to help?  And then there was the next level of questions… where was the fire extinguisher?  When did we do our last fire drill?  Why haven’t we installed smoke alarms yet? 

And there I was, a complete failure, again.

Now, if my mom was here she would say, “Jan, you can’t blame yourself for that.  It was not your fault.”  And I would argue with her that it is my responsibility to make sure our children are safe at all times.  We moms carry the weight of the world, my mom taught me that and there is no talking us out of that.  But my mom also taught me that when we are weak, He is strong, and on Tuesday morning our heavenly Father knew exactly where I was to be when that fire started. The fire wasn’t a surprise to Him and He was right there with us to protect His children.

Ian picked me up and brushed me off after a good cry, fire extinguishers were purchased (we do have them in all the other buildings, but they were on back order), smoke alarms are being ordered and an investigation in to the root of the problem is still happening.  We are to give thanks in all things, so I give thanks for His hand of protection over my life and the lives of my family.

“…we are weak, but He is strong. Yes, Jesus loves me.”

Live from Swaziland… I miss you mom.

Janine

PS – yes Spencer and Chloe I would love a plastic children’s walker for Mother’s Day!  And it’s not too late to shop on our Baby Registry site!

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