What if?

 

We are in Toronto this weekend … our old “stomping grounds”, and it’s weird.

I remember always wanting to live in Toronto because I thought it was the greatest city in the world. I loved the noise, the high-rise buildings, musical theatre, the speed of life, nice restaurants and skanky bars that we would visit to listen to live music.  I didn’t mind the traffic or the cold weather or the snow, I just loved Toronto.

But it seems I have changed.

I cannot express how happy I am to have our family together. Spencer flew in from Chicago, Chloe drove in from St. Catherine’s and Ian and I drove from Ottawa, after spending a few days visiting the Maxwell family and our friends from the Egg Farmers of Canada.  Nothing makes me happier than having the four of us together, anywhere in the world and for any amount of time.  But I am starting to get homesick.  I miss my little ones. I miss their squeals of joy, their never-ending chatter, their hugs, their innocence and I miss my Swazi friends and family. 

There is a purity of spirit that I feel when I am at Project Canaan, and while most people in the country are living in abject physical poverty, their internal joy overflows from their smiles to their words of encouragement and thanksgiving.  But I don’t see that in North America. 

As we have traveled the past 20 days to eight cities in Canada and the US, I can’t help but notice the poverty all around me. It’s not poverty of income or wealth, it’s a poverty of spirit.  I got in the elevator to get to the AirBnB that we are staying in and I greeted the people and they just looked away as if I was crazy.  Everyone is moving so quickly to get to the next thing on their schedule, but rarely taking the time to be present where they are (I too am guilty of that!). I’m not saying everyone is like that, and I am not doing a good job putting words to my thoughts, but I feel a sadness and emptiness here that I just don’t feel back in Eswatini.   

I often wonder “what if” we had said NO to this calling to serve “the least of these”?  I would never have seen the miracle of Princess walking or Holly and Ivy hearing or Jonathan being raised from the dead.  I would never have understood how “life-giving” fresh water really is or how terrifying fire can be or how often a chicken lays an egg (!).  But most importantly, I may never have learned that God IS our provider, His grace IS sufficient, and His mercy is new every morning.  I have learned that from living in Africa.

 

This weekend we will see friends from high school, our business days and our life in Toronto. There is no way for me to adequately explain the joy (or the sorrow) of living in Eswatini, but hopefully they will see it in our eyes and hearts.

To my Swazi friends and family – you have changed me, and I will be forever grateful for your patience, your kindness, your grace and your love.

Live from Toronto … I don’t miss the cold weather!

Good morning Ottawa.

Janine

 PS - if you want to come visit us tonight or tomorrow please check this link for times and locations. 

Oh, how times have changed.

Yesterday my firstborn child turned 25-years-old. It’s hard to get my head around the fact that I am the mother of someone who has been alive for 25 years, but it’s true.  Our family is together in Barcelona this week to celebrate with Spencer, celebrate our family and have a nice holiday together. (If you don’t know how or why we came here please read last week’s blog at https://janinemaxwell.blogspot.com/2019/06/who-would-do-that.html).

Last night we celebrated his birthday on a rooftop patio that had the famous La Sagrada Familla Temple in the background (which made for epic photos and an evening that no one will ever forget).  Spencer had friends from his first Master degree program at Queen’s University in Canada fly in from all over the world (where they are living now), a friend from his high school days in Georgia arrived and another 70+ friends from his Master degree program here in Barcelona.  There was great food, great music and great conversations with young people from all over Europe, getting ready to start out in the world as adults.  I was fascinated, stimulated and thoroughly enjoyed my time with them all.  Suffice it to say Ian and left the party at midnight as “the kids” went on to other venues. 

Ian reminded me that when Spencer was small, he didn’t like the house parties that we had back in Ontario. The music was too loud, there were too many people and he would either go upstairs and put himself to bed or head over to the neighbors house where it was quieter.  Oh, how times have changed.  

While looking for photos of the birthday boy I came across this photo of Spencer’s 11^thbirthday, taken in Swaziland during our first family visit in 2005. Never in a million years did I think that photo would kick off a lifetime of service in the tiny Kingdom of eSwatini, that has now become our home.  Oh, how times have changed.

Spencer's birthday in 2005 - our first visit to Swaziland as a family.

Last night we had SO MANY people come up and express their interest and thanks for what our family is doing in eSwatini. They had heard many of the stories from Spencer about big dogs and snakes, to firearms and break-ins, to burnt babies and wild monkeys – all from a proud son talking about his family with pride.  Near the end of the evening one of Spencer’s friends told me about a conversation they had, during a holiday in Mallorca, Spain, when Spencer was talking about his little brothers and sisters in eSwatini. The friend said that he was moved when Spencer spoke of the little ones because his eyes lit up and he got emotional when talking about them. He could see how special those children really are to Spencer.  Yes, I cried when he told shared that story with me. 

NDCA Primary school in Newmarket, Canada

Spencer, we are so very proud of you and all that you have accomplished, but more importantly for the person you have become. I can’t wait to see where the journey of life takes you, but always know that God has a plan for your life and you will always have us cheering you on from the sidelines!

My favorite Spencer photo - Murphy, our dog, liked to keep his face clean at all time

Live from Barcelona … celebrating family.

Janine 

I felt so guilty for so long.

The sunset from our room tonight in Koh Samui, Thailand.

When I first stepped foot on the African continent my life was changed forever.    I distinctly remember thinking that I could not possibly pile presents under the Christmas tree as I had in past years for our young children (who didn’t “need” anything to start with).  The thought of hanging hundreds of lights, decorating the house with expensive bobbles and piling our family table up with delicious and extravagant treats, when millions of children in Africa had NO food at all, just made me sick to my stomach.

I couldn't face Christmas 2003 in my big, fancy home and instead our family went to a beach resort so I could escape (not that it was in any way cost saving!) and think about how I would change “Christmas-future” for the Maxwell family.

After spending too much money on that trip to the beach I decided that I could never take a vacation again, while millions of children in Africa had no food.  I am not saying that my thinking was sound, fair to the rest of the family or that I was trying to be a Super-Christian, I just felt guilty. 

Most of you know the story from my first book, “It’s Not Okay With Me”, but we made some major lifestyle changes that included everything from eating frozen pizza rather than ordering in, eliminating fancy vacations, getting rid of the nice cars and eventually, moved to Africa.

Ian and I built a lovely home here in Swaziland, with funds that we had saved from our business days.  It’s technically the property of Heart for Africa, but we live in it as the Directors of the project.  I give thanks for the safety, beauty and comfort of this home every day, but there are days that I feel guilty for living in such a lovely place when I have visited homes where the roofs have gaping holes and the mud walls are collapsing.

Holidays are another source of guilt for me, and that leads me to this week’s blog.  During our business days our family used to go on great holidays to the beach, or exotic destinations, but we stopped doing that in 2003 after “Africa” happened to me.  I could not justify spending money for four of us to fly somewhere and just have fun.  But then time passed, life continued, our family lives on three different continents and I realized we are missing out on family time, memory making and renewal of spirit.

So I am trying an experiment.  Last week Spencer, Ian and I flew to Taiwan to attend Chloe’s High School graduation.  After a few whirlwind days in Taiwan we headed to Vietnam to visit the place where our friend/hero/favorite Uncle, Captain Jerry Coffee, was a POW for 7-years.  I am so glad we made the decision to visit this incredibly important place and learn more about the history of this part of the world.  Chloe even spotted Jerry’s photo on the wall in what is left of the prison – a photo that Jerry himself had never seen.  The visit had a significant impact on all of us.

Ric shaw ride in Hanoi, Vietnam.

Last night we started a weekend of celebration for Spencer’s 21^st birthday in Bangkok, Thailand.  We were stunned by the view at “Skybar” on a rooftop made famous by the movie Hangover II (I debated telling you that part).  The view was breathtaking, spectacular and left us all speechless (which doesn’t happen much in our family!). Today we flew to the Island of Koh Samui in the southern part of Thailand.  

Bangkok, Thailand.

The sun has already set as I sit and write this blog, and it is 9PM in Thailand, 3PM in Swaziland and 9AM in Georgia.  We are watching “Anna and the King” as we continue to learn about, and embrace Thai history and culture.  I have no words to explain how awesome this time is together.

We are having fun as a family.  We are learning and growing and laughing and eating and enjoying each other’s company.  In a week we will all be back in Swaziland for 10 days, and then Spencer heads back to Georgia and Chloe goes to Canada.  Everyone is back to “real life”.  We don’t know if and when we will have an opportunity to be together again, but today we give thanks. 

I might still feel pangs of guilt (I cannot say that I don’t), but I am giving thanks in a VERY BIG WAY for the ability to enjoy this time as a family and for His provision.

Live from Thailand … I have a good life.

Janine

Not a good way to start the New Year, or maybe it was the best way?

 

Our family in enjoying a much needed, long overdue holiday, together on the beach in Durban, South Africa.  Each day starts with a view of the Indian Ocean and ends with a delicious meal, Cribbage games and watching Scandal Season 2 together.  The reason we can go away worry free is because we have such an incredible team of people living and serving at Project Canaan.  They only contact us when there is something that we need to know or that they know we would want to know.  That is how the day started.

Today, my first FaceBook message was from Kenny VanWinkle. He and Amber graciously offered to live in our house while we are away taking care of chickens, dogs and security.  Kenny’s message to me read something like this:

“Hey Janine. Hope your vacation is going great. We had a couple of visitors last night. Came out of the bedroom and there was a 3.5 foot long snake coming out of the pantry. Chased it and cornered it under the stove. At the same time saw another one come from under a chair in the living room and go down the hallway. Called Denis and we killed the one under the stove. Not sure what kind of snake it was. Kinda looks like a Puff Adder, but it hissed at me really loud, and it long and skinny. Haven't found the other one yet. And we have looked like crazy. Just curious if you guys have had this problem before. We haven't left any doors or windows open. Anyway just wanted to let you know what's going on. We are still searching for the second intruder. Other than that all is well. Pretty sure I lost a few years off my life last night! Haha”

I know lots of you (Beth, Penny etc) hate when I talk about snakes, but I have a point. I will get to it.

After that I was looking through friends FaceBook posts and saw this photo from Brooke Sleeper of little Esther’s foot with a hookworm working its way through her skin.  We try to get the Aunties to make the children wear shoes, but heck, its Africa.  Everyone is in bare feet, right?  I wonder how many other people have hookworms making tracts that no one sees? Probably many.  I was able to contact Brooke to find out what she was going to do and she said that Esther’s foot is very itchy and after 3 days of treatment the worm(s) will die.  YUCK!!  Again, I have a point to why I am telling you this, and will get to it.

After reading my morning news, we got up and headed to the lobby at 5:45AM where we were getting a car to take us Deep Sea Fishing. We were all so excited for another great Maxwell family adventure. One of our favorites from the past was White Water Rafting down the Great Zambizi River in Zimbabwe. Maybe today would be even better than that?  We arrived at the chartered boat, hopped in and off we went. Simple.  I had packed lunches, water, cold drinks, lots of sunscreen and cameras.  It would be a perfect day (other than how it had started).  But I knew I had forgotten something. What was it?

It wasn’t until we left the harbor and we headed in to the open water that I remembered what I forgot, but it was too late. You see, I get really, really, REALLY motion sick.  And it started.  We had traveled out in the Indian Ocean about 2.5 miles and then stopped. We were all handled fishing rods and told to drop the lines to the bottom. Immediately fish were on Chloe’s and my line and up we successfully caught 8” fish. I did that once, and then things started to spin.  I moved in to the shade and sat down in the breeze. I was in a full body sweat. My head was sweating and even my upper lip and I knew I wasn’t going to make it.  I moved to the front of the boat to get more breeze and see the shoreline and tried to regroup.  What was I thinking? This was my idea to go Deep Sea Fishing!  How could I have forgotten such an important thing!

I didn’t want to tell Ian how sick I was getting for fear of ruining this great adventure.  It turns out we were only fishing for bait at that stop and soon we were heading back out to the open sea.  The swells were high as we crashed into and over each wave.  After 15 minutes of debating if I could call a helicopter to be evacuated or if I could just jump in the water and sink or swim (didn’t care which at that point), I went to the skipper and asked how much farther were were going.  He said, “Only another 9 miles out to sea”. I panicked.

He, and my family saw my panic and he gave me a anti-nausea pill.  Chloe was looking “green around the gills” too and so she took one too.  Fast-forwarding to the end of this terrible morning, by 7:30AM I was begging God to take me home.  Spencer and Ian were reeling in big Dorado fish (Mahi Mahi), I was power puking off the side of the boat and Chloe was curled up in the fetal position trying to “find her happy place.”   

The adventure was to last until 2PM, but we were back on shore by 10:08AM, much to my joy (and thanks to the understanding men in our family).  Oh my, my, my we were SO SICK.  But we have some great fish to show for it and will be eating it at dinner tonight (if I ever get this blog posted).

Near the end of the day I got a message on my phone from a Child Protection Police officer. He message read, “Good afternoon Janine.  We have yet another discovery of a dumped baby who has been rushed to the hospital.  Do you sill have space at the El Roi Baby Home?”

My reply was, “Yes, we hope to always have room for babies that you find dumped”. 

We are awaiting the details of this newborn baby, our first of 2014.

So, how do the snakes in our house, the hookworm in Esther’s foot, the adventure at sea and a newborn baby possibly all fit together?  It’s easy.  If we were too afraid of snakes to have said “yes” to this calling (and I HATE SNAKES!), I wouldn’t have had the privilege of receiving the phone message about a dumped baby. While I am totally grossed out by Esther’s hookworm (and may have wanted to cut my own foot off), we have an awesome Nurse Practitioner who said “yes” to the calling on her life and she can treat Esther and do another “teaching” on the importance of wearing shoes outside (oh, and we have shoes for all of them – we are blessed).  If we had said “no” to God’s calling on our life we wouldn’t have had the amazing opportunity to drive to Durban, stay on the beach and go Deep Sea Fishing in the Indian Ocean.  Sick or not sick, I got to be a part of a really cool adventure that our family will not soon forget.  And, at the end of the day, I got a message about a baby whose day was much worse than mine, and yet I could be a part of making his/her day better.

It’s January 2014 and we all are starting a new year.  I pray that you will not let your fears, your phobias or your excuses rob you of the huge blessings that the Lord has in store for you because you are thinking about saying “no” to what HE is asking you to do.  Today was a great day in my life – not an easy one, but another great one. I am so very thankful that we said “yes”.  You will be too.

Live from South Africa … it’s Saturday evening and time to eat Mahi Mahi.

Janine