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Saturday, May 25, 2013

An inappropriate blog? You must be over age 18 to read this.

Many of my blogs are dark and heavy. They tell tales of abandoned babies, burned children, frustration and the experience of trying to see God in all things.

Today’s blog will be different. It will be more about life on a farm … a life that is new to us “city folk”.  This really is an inappropriate story to tell, but it is “nature” and part of our new life in Africa.

It all started yesterday morning when the sun was rising and the day had not quite started.  Our morning routine includes the first person out of bed opening the curtains to reveal the spectacular view of Project Canaan for the other person to enjoy while still in bed.  First person then goes and puts on coffee and lets out the little dog. 

That is what happened yesterday. I got up, opened the curtains and was putting on coffee when Ian yelled, “Ah, Janine?  I think we have a problem!”

Followed by, “Come quickly, Max mounted Twende and looks like he is stuck!”


I ran to look out the window and Ian had already thrown on shorts and was outside, bare-chested in his slippers.  I ran out in my nightgown and we both tried to approach the dogs, who were clearly “STUCK”, and not have them run away… well, truthfully they couldn’t run away. 

Okay if you are under the age of 18 you have to stop reading now and come back next Saturday.

Next we tried to untangle them and figure out what the problem was.  Sure enough Max had mounted Twende successfully, then I guess jumped off to the right, but didn’t “disengage” so now the two dogs looked a bit like they were playing the 1970’s game of Twister.  They were attached at the back, but both facing the opposite direction (yes, you can all say “ouch”).

Ian held Twende while I tried to lift Max back up over her so that things were at least going straight.  Oh what a tangled mess!

Both dogs were freaked out (not nearly as freaked out as Ian and I were and not anywhere near as freaked out as anyone on the farm would have been had they seen us out there in our pajamas unwinding two dogs who got stuck mating). I digress.

When we finally pulled his back leg back over her and got his front legs facing forward we saw that they really were stuck and her private area was a hard as a rock.  Ian finally got both dogs calmed down, as my anxiety increased.  I went inside to make an emergency call to Peter while putting on some clothes.  Peter was in town, but said he would call Anthony to come and rescue us all.  Ian yelled for me to bring out some vegetable oil.  Vegetable oil?  What on earth was he thinking of doing with that?

With pants on and vegetable oil in hand I ran back out to the yard just in time to see Twende run off and Max almost collapse in front of us.  I will stop short of describing his condition in full.

Ian and I were left standing in our yard, with the beauty of Project Canaan laid out in front of us. He in his shorts and slippers, me holding a cell phone and a bottle of sunflower oil.  Both of us totally freaked out and in a bit of shock at what had just happened.  Then we cracked up laughing. 

Life in Africa is not always easy, but we learned many years ago to laugh a lot at ourselves and at things around us that are funny (or strange). 

After we were sitting down with our hot coffee in hand Ian looked at me and said, “Well, I don’t think I want to start another Friday morning like that again.”  No kidding.

Live from Swaziland … it’s Saturday morning and the dogs are playing nicely.


1 comment:

  1. Janie --- I am a vet tech from the states and read your blog regularly. This is the normal way dogs mate. It's called 'tie-ing up' or 'tied up'. It is best to leave them -- rather than help them untie. It does not hurt them (may surprise them the first time, tho.....when they can't get away). You can actually do more damage trying to untie them, then waiting until they naturally do it on their own (about 15-20min). It seems very un-natural to us.....but, it's the way God created them and their body parts are built to handle it.