Knee surgery and Whoppers with cheese

Whopper with cheese for Valentine's day.  Delicious!

Ian and I have always enjoyed Valentine’s Day.  We take turns planning it – one year Ian plans what we do and the next year I plan it. That way we are surprised every other year and we can enjoy doing something special for each other.  Over the years we have eaten in the finest restaurants, stayed in the nicest hotels, traveled to exotic countries and given/received lovely gifts on February 14th.  Our celebrations have changed quite a bit in the past 10 years, becoming much simpler (and cheaper!) as our lifestyles have changed, but we still celebrate a day of love for each other and for our children.

This year it was quite different with Ian being in a South African hospital for knee surgery and me staying at a nearby hotel on a day that the African country’s corrupt leader was forced to resign.  But really, it was possibly the best Valentine’s Day yet.  Why?  Because Ian was in pain, and the surgery would take him out of pain (who doesn’t want that for their spouse). Because the hotel I stayed in had crisp white sheets, big fluffy pillows air conditioning and I got to eat a Burger King Whopper and French fries from McDonalds!!  (We don’t have either fast food chain in Swaziland, and I love burgers).

As I sat and ate my Whopper with cheese, alone, I thought of my friends Terry McGill, Linda Howard and Sandy Wise, all who have recently lost their life partners, and who didn’t get to celebrate Valentine’s Day with their loved one this year.  What would they give to be eating a burger in a hotel in Africa while their partner was having knee surgery in an African hospital?  Just about anything, I would imagine.  This knowledge made me even more thankful for our situation, while feeling heartache for my friends.

Ian with Pete Wilkerson as we arrived back on Project Canaan.

We have been married for 26 years, have lived in three countries and have 2+178 children.  We have laughed more than we have cried.   We have played more than we have fought.  We have lived complicated lives and simple lives (and we sure love the simple life better).  I will say that the Lord could not have given me a better life partner and we compliment each other in so many ways.  He is my rudder through smooth waters and through the storms.   His faith in God is unshakeable and that faith keeps many people who know him focused on Jesus, not themselves or their circumstances.

Proverbs 3:6-12 (The Message bible) says:

Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
    don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
    he’s the one who will keep you on track.
Don’t assume that you know it all.
    Run to God! Run from evil!
Your body will glow with health,
    your very bones will vibrate with life!
Honor God with everything you own;
    give him the first and the best.
Your barns will burst,
    your wine vats will brim over.
But don’t, dear friend, resent God’s discipline;
    don’t sulk under his loving correction.
It’s the child he loves that God corrects;
    a father’s delight is behind all this.

Happy Valentine’s Day Ian.  I love doing life with you.

Live from Swaziland … I am thankful.

Janine

PS - This is day #3 since surgery and Ian is walking without crutches and is in NO pain (no pain killers).  We give thanks for total healing!   Also, check out our brand new US website at www.heartforafrica.org!
 

You want to do what???

This past week I got a call from a woman whom I could barely hear and who said she wanted to come see me about some children.  It seemed that she had children in her care whom she wanted help with, but I told her that she must go through the Social Welfare Department before coming to Project Canaan. But she pushed, in fact she demanded a meeting with me and her forcefulness was surprising, and seemingly un-Swazi, but because it was so unusual I agreed to meet with her for a short visit on Saturday morning. 

The lady arrived at 10AM sharp, and when I met her at the gate I found a Gogo, two middle-aged women and a man who said we had met before.  He did not look at all familiar and I didn’t know why all four were there.  When they told me who they were, and I felt like I had been hit with a 2” x 4” from the side and didn’t see it coming.

That Gogo was the Mother to the Father of Nomsa’s twin girls (!!).  The man was Nomsa’s Uncle (her mothers’ brother) and then the two women with her were his sisters (I think Nomsa’s Aunt’s, but could be something else as he introduced them as his sisters not Nomsa’s Aunts).  They had come for several reasons, which I would not find out until later in the conversation, but they started by thanking me for all the help we had given Nomsa over the past two years. He also danced around the notion of us not attending Nomsa’s burial that there was disagreement as to where she was to be buried, and then there was a pause.  It seemed as though there was more to be said, but standing at the front gate was not where it was to be done. 

We don’t have an office at Project Canaan so, maybe against my better judgment, I took them to the baby home to sit out back under the shade where there is a picnic table.  I sent a cryptic message to Ian to come and join me, and he did.  If he had not, the day may not have ended the way it did.

After a repeat of the conversation at the gate (“thanks” and “sorry”) they dropped the bomb. They were there to find out how to get Leah and Rachel and take them back to the family.

What??

The Gogo (again, for emphasis, she is the Mother of the FATHER of the babies) wanted the girls and had come to claim them.  I asked where the father was and they said he was working. I reminded them that he had never laid eyes on his twins and I asked (as politely and graciously as I possibly could) why the family didn’t want to help the twins when they were dying of hunger and malnutrition on a mud floor while their mother lay dying beside them of MDR-TB?  None of the Father's family had every seen or met the twins and none had gone to visit Nomsa in the hospital. Why would they want to now come and take the babies in to their home?? They started to give an explanation of how sometimes children don’t share with their family what is really going on, they tried to say that they really didn’t know about the twins until recently and that they were ready to take the girls home.

I remember after Nomsa died and I was pleading with a Social Welfare officer to help explain to the family that she wanted to be buried at Project Canaan. The Officer said to me, “Janine, the problem with us Swazi’s is that no one cares about you when you are alive, but they fight over your body when you are dead.”

Yes, that is a direct quote. 

While my brain was madly trying to process what was being said to me, and my mouth was trying to stay closed so that I would not say anything that was inappropriate, offensive or that I would regret later.  Ian jumped in and was my knight in shining armor.  He gently explained how this home is under the Deputy Prime Ministers (DPM) office and how it is run. He explained that all of the children who we are for are placed with us through the DPM’s office and we are under their authority. Court orders are given for each child and if they wanted to appeal the court order they would need to do that before the girls would leave.

He then offered to take them through the baby home (where we have 39 babies with a capacity of 40), then on to the toddler home where they could not even identify which children had belonged to Nomsa (because they had never met them!) and then on to the preschool where the girls would learn to read and write.

Ian then offered to take them to Nomsa’s House where she lived up until the last 4 days of her life.  He opened the room, which I have not been in since she passed away, and showed them the large “Welcome Home” sign that was still on the wall with the hand and foot prints of her twin girls. 

All four of them walked out of the home shaking their heads. I was not sure how to interpret that. 

We moved on to show them the new Kindergarten that is being assembled/set up by our WLA friends from the US Bank today, and they were greeted by everyone who was preparing that incredible place of learning for Leah and Rachel, and all their brothers and sisters. 

And then we took them to the cemetery, where Nomsa is honored with a beautiful stone carving in memory of a beautiful African woman.  They stood in silence. Maybe they saw that Nomsa was loved?  Maybe they saw that she truly was our daughter, our sister and our friend? Maybe they were overwhelmed with all that they saw?   There was silence, and then they started to sing a song, which said, “We give you all the glory.  We worship you our Lord, you are worthy to be praised.”

All four of our visitors wept.  They walked slowly to their cars and then hugged us, thanked us and prayed the Lord’s blessing over us, then left.

My prayer is that I can honor my promise to Nomsa and raise Leah and Rachel to the very best of my ability in the safety of Project Canaan. After we went back to the house and had a complete meltdown at the thought of losing those beautiful twins, Ian reminded me that they are His children, not mine, and that I must trust Him in all things.  That is not always easy, but it was a timely reminder from my best friend, and husband of 23 years tomorrow, October 5^th.  Happy Anniversary Ian, and thank you.

Live from Swaziland … trusting.

Janine